Finding Middle Ground

Why is compromise so difficult for some people?  A number of years ago while attending university, a management course professor put the students through an exercise that lasted approximately 6 hours and ended only after he had decided to shut things done. He divided the students up into groups representing either management or union. While the students were still together, he gave everyone information that was common to both sides. He then gave the union and management teams confidential information unique to their individual objectives. Unions were given their targets to achieve as well as the minimum they would be prepared to accept. The management teams were also given their positions. In addition, both sides were given other confidential background information to make the negotiations more difficult. Understandably, both sides were instructed to defend their positions. The exercise included strikes, lock-outs and the need to place money in a pot, later used for refreshments, to demonstrate a capacity to weather the loss associated with a prolonged dispute. Even though this was a ‘game’, participants engaged themselves fully. The pressure was intense and real.

What the professor did not tell either side was that the target for the minimum the union would accept and the target for the maximum that management would offer were not even close. The lesson for the students here was less about achieving a pre-determined rigid target and more about a willingness to communicate effectively with each other in a common objective of finding a resolution that both sides could accept, regardless of any preconceived notion of what the outcome should be.

In our personal lives, we may often have expectations of how things ought to unfold, particularly when dealing with another person whose views for the outcome of a task may be at odds with ours. We would all save ourselves a considerable amount of stress if we were more inclined to find the middle ground in conflict resolution, placing the emphasis on the significance of maintaining a good relationship, rather than a win-lose outcome.