Nasty People

Why do so many people underestimate the importance of effective interpersonal communications? Most of us have dealt with people that are more prone to win-lose outcomes than those of win-win. From children playing in the schoolyard at recess arguing over who goes first in a game to working professionals fixated on a pre-determined goal, those that pursue a win-lose path often do not even realize they are alienating others in the process. Perhaps they don't even care. Even though win-lose pursuits may be successful, merely from the perspective of the perceived winner, the win may be of a short-term duration and it may often have longer-term negative consequences. The initial win-lose outcome can ultimately evolve to a lose-lose ending.

Trying to resolve problems with a win-win strategy is not easy for some people. Accustomed to win-lose scenarios, they may feel they are simply being assertive when those on the receiving end feel it is more along the lines of overt aggressiveness. While nasty verbal communications can  tend to provoke an immediately retaliatory response, we can condition ourselves, albeit with considerable hard earned self-control, to pause momentarily before reacting in the same manner. Nasty people thrive on being nasty. By reacting in a nasty manner we simply feed their need to be more nasty. The same holds true for those with a penchant to write nasty communications. You know the type. They choose to address a problem  by looking beyond the actual problem and personalizing it with finger pointing that is more likely to create fences than build bridges. They may use threatening written language, accompanied by bold print and sometimes colour enhanced for superficial effectiveness, without an awareness that a resolution of the problem with a win-win approach could have a longer lasting positive effect, particularly when there may be a need to address another problem in the future.

While we can learn to control our reactions to unpleasant verbal and written communications, we can also learn to keep a safe distance from those that are offensive in their deportment. From my perspective, life is too short to be associated with nasty people.