Trying to
resolve problems with a win-win strategy is not easy for some people.
Accustomed to win-lose scenarios, they may feel they are simply being assertive
when those on the receiving end feel it is more along the lines of overt aggressiveness.
While nasty verbal communications can tend
to provoke an immediately retaliatory response, we can condition ourselves,
albeit with considerable hard earned self-control, to pause momentarily before
reacting in the same manner. Nasty people thrive on being nasty. By reacting in
a nasty manner we simply feed their need to be more nasty. The same holds true
for those with a penchant to write nasty communications. You know the type. They
choose to address a problem by looking
beyond the actual problem and personalizing it with finger pointing that is more
likely to create fences than build bridges. They may use threatening written language,
accompanied by bold print and sometimes colour enhanced for superficial effectiveness,
without an awareness that a resolution of the problem with a win-win approach
could have a longer lasting positive effect, particularly when there may be a need
to address another problem in the future.
While we can
learn to control our reactions to unpleasant verbal and written communications,
we can also learn to keep a safe distance from those that are offensive in
their deportment. From my perspective, life is too short to be associated with
nasty people.
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